finally get back on track..

after 1 month struggling with my own emotion and feeling,i finally decided to let him go for the sake of our future..i know that i'm the black sheep in this relationship as i only assumed this relationship as a 'trend' and to make this other man jealous but now i'm realised that i'm being too selfish n childish and as the impact,i'm try to ruin my own life just most people had that..so after taking a long deep breath,i'm finally back with my real persona and ready to face the world once again and this time,in the different perspective..just let say i'm wanna be a totally different person yet still have the same special characteristics that reperesent me..
till then,just hoping that everything will run smoothly as planned and of course with the His permission..

new status..

i'm now officially become a faithful girlfriend to Muhammad Fikri Hakim who i only known by a few phone calls and smsess..am I making a right decision?dunno,just go with the flow and let's see if this relationship might work with my ego,lifestyle and family relations..but to be honest,i'm not that satisfied and happy with what i have just now because i know i can have a much better person than he..well,i'm not too  bad either..so i have a chance to have a good,charming boyfriend,right?but,like my mother's says,'God always give you things that you need in your life,not the things you want to..so after all,just let be content on what i have,for now at least..but sadly,my mom being quite too conservative lady at the moment,which means that she quite disagreed that i have a boyfriend in my life..with a same,lame reason.."you're don't need a man now,let's just focus on your studies.."
she might be true but deep in my heart,i;m quite mad with that but let's just say i ignored it and be want i wanna be in my life..after all,the most important key is that i now who i am and do not cross over beyond the limit of my principle,family tradition and especially,my religion..well,let's just pray that i'm able to balance out everything in my life so that i won't turn out to be totally messed up and miserable in my life later on..

so dead confused!

every single day,i keep asking myself if i do the right thing...but when i go deeper and deeper,it make me more confused..more questions come into my head...sometimes i feel so guilty..i feel so cruel,unreasonable and unforgiveble..what that damn thing that change me from sweet little girl to evil,unpredictable young lady?i need  my oldself back..but where i could meet her again?what should i do?i'm so lost right now and i need someone or something that can give me back my strengh and faith..but who?only times can tell that answers..God now best..

LOVE SUCKS!!!

why i'm the ones who become the victim on every relationship?why can't i be happy just other person do?why all the men i met love giving me a wrong kind of attention that make me crazy like hell for them and at the end,they dumped me over...why?because i'm not rich as bill gates or not insanely gorgeous like jessica alba or perhaps not as smart as albert einstein?what are the qualities that men's today need to be their girlfriend?men are not that perfect either and even worse,they are such a loser but yet still have the power to break someone's heart...but,whatever happens,i finally promised towards myself that i'll get my master as soon as i could and let my parents deal with my partner's issue...afterall,parents are always the best matchmaker in the entire world...now,all i have to do is just study hard,get myself a full makeover,own a car and a condominium,go hajj and then,all i have to is to get married and be a good wife and a good mother to my unborn childs later...may god bless my wishes...

Twilight Saga: NEW Eclipse Trailer

Confession Wanted!

why i became so evil?just because i truly in love with someone else,not him..now,i started to feel bored with him..scary..he keep asking me the reason why i keep ignoring his phone calls and the only answer i have is..i'm so sorry...i know that deep in his heart,he totally frustated with me as we're a good friend before.but,like a black magic spell cast on me,last morning,when i wake up in the morning,my heart suddenly say that i should ignore him and start a new life..right now,i'm totally confused and scared with those feelings and i hope it's just a part of my pms symptoms...